Cricket Mania Jokes

What is the height of optimism ?
Ganguly coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings.

Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.

When would ganguly have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling.


Q. What is Ganguly's favorite movie?
A. Gone in 60 seconds.

Bill Gates vs Linus Torvalds

linus torvalds(the creator of linux) and bill gates(the god of windows) were on a trip with their wives on a bus



when linus torvalds was posed a question by his wife

"darling tell me the truth that you don not have another girlfriend???"
and so linus replied"that is not true dear i do have one in london"

hearing this the wife of bill gates wanted to show off her husbands loyalty
so she asked bill gates
"darling tell me aint i the only one you love"
turning to her bill gates (rubbing his fore head with his handkerchief) answered "dear i cant tell you that i am not open source"

tarjan and cheetah

What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?










Wow! New Underwear.

Some ways to catch a lion

1st way
the calculus method

Differentiate the entire jungle in which the Lion is hiding and then integrate it with respect to the lion.

2nd way
Newtons 3rd law

Allow the Lion to catch you and since to every action there is equal and opposite reaction (according to newton's third law) the Lion gets caught himself.

3rd way
Biological way

Prepare a semi-permeable membrane which will allow everything in the world to pass through it except the Lion. Sieve the jungle using the membrane to catch the Lion.

4th way
Laplace Inverse Transform

Put a cage in the jungle and lock it properly. Sit inside the cage. When you spot the Lion perform the Laplace inverse transform from cage domain to jungle domain so that you get out and the Lion gets caught inside the cage.

Bruce Lee

Mar 18
BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gav birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...




y?






he became



MAMU LEE!

Bus conductor and electrocution

Once there was an extremely evil minded bus conductor. He would try and harm anyone in any way possible. Once while he was ringing the bell to guide the driver to take take the bus back he purposely misguided the driver and got a motorcycle driver killed by the bus.
He was beaten up badly by the public and taken to the court. The judge sentenced him to death on electric chair.
He was taken to the room where he was to be executed. There was a red lamp glowing. Some water was spilled in the room. A banana peel lying next to the chair. He was tied to the chair and current was switched on. He dint die!!!! Everyone arnd tried all thgs but he dint die of the electirc shock. So they released him thinking it was the will of the God for him to keep him alive.

Next time he got an elderly woman killed with his bus. Again he was beaten up and taken to the court and sentenced to death by electrocution. He dint die this time as well and was released again.

Suddenly something happened to him and he decided to change for the better. However he made a mistake and an accident happened. A boy was injured. Everyone thought that he was the culprit and took him to the court. He was again sentenced to electrocution.

He was taken to the room. The red lamp was broken. The water had been wiped. The banana peel cleaned. He was tied to the chair. As soon as the current was switched on he died.
Why dint he die on the previous two occassions and died the third time??
Think
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Think more people
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bcoz earlier he was a bad conductor and now he was a good conductor.

extract iron from hema malini

How do u extract IRON ORE frm hema malini???
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get her drunk...
then she'll get tight...
now u ve hema-tite!
n now u can xtract iron ore!!

Indian cricketers personal email ids

Indian Cricket players personal e mail Ids
1. LAXMAN:

available@home- only.com

2.GANGULY:

myruns@no_use. com

3.KUMBLE:

only@test_match. com

4.SACHIN:

admitted@hospital. com

5.KAIF:

good@for_nothing. com

6.SEHWAG:

consistently@ out_of_form. com

7.DRAVID:

stick@crease_ like_fevicol. com

8.PATHAN:

takewickets@ only_with_ kenya.com

9. GREG CHAPPELL

only_experiment@ noresult. com


10. Munaf Patel

only_line&length@nospeed. com


11.Harbhajan Singh

no_spinpitch@ nowicket. com



12. Suresh Raina

why_i_am_there@ god_knows. com

13. Sreesanth

mal_monkey@shakemybumbalaati.com

14. Tendulkar secondary id

score_100s@pocketbilliards.com

now smile :)